Services

couples Counselling

couples COUNSELLING

COUPLES

Bring out the best in each other

A couple that’s doing well brings out the best in each-other (and confers an extraordinary advantage and benefit on their children). All couples have really (really) hard times sometimes and it’s my privilege to be able to help couples work through the difficult parts of life. Work on this relationship is so valuable and important for such a long time into the future for us and our children. In my mind the benefit is disproportionately large when compared with the work. Value focus with mutual respect is the foundation of this work. Upgrading the language we use and being able to get through conflict (which is unavoidable!) can make a really big difference in the most important area.

I have a deep understanding of old generational patterns (like shaming, abuse, neglect). These patterns can end with you and you can choose a better “rest of the story” despite your past. It’s a brave person that chooses to face their past in order to gain a better future and I’m focussed on supporting these true heroes. Many generations after you benefit from your work and bravery. Your future is much more interesting than your past!

couples counselling

how does couples counselling work?

We’ve decided to do couples therapy – where do we start?

Firstly – WELL DONE.
Choosing to work on your relationship says so much about who you are as individuals and as a couple. You’re choosing growth. You’re choosing a better story. And importantly, you’re choosing to lean in rather than fall into quiet resignation, ongoing conflict, or walking away altogether. That’s not the easy path—and I genuinely respect it.
So… where do we start?
It’s important that I meet with each of you individually first.
This allows me to:
• Hear your story from your perspective
• Understand your background and personal goals
• Get to know you as an individual
• Give you the opportunity to get to know me and decide how you feel about working together
Once I’ve met with both of you separately and we’re on the same page, we can begin working together as a couple.
Short Form or Long Form (Intensive) Therapy?
You have flexibility in how we approach this:
• Traditional Sessions – 1–2 hour appointments, weekly or fortnightly
• Intensive Sessions – Longer, focused blocks where we create meaningful progress in a shorter period of time
Both approaches are effective. You can start with one and shift to another as needed—whatever feels right for you.
What are we working toward? (My objectives)
1. Getting to know you both and understanding the key issues
2. Creating emotional safety—where neither person feels criticised, judged, dismissed, or less important
3. Developing healthy communication—moving away from conflict and power struggles toward genuine dialogue, where both speaking and listening are strengthened
4. Going deeper where needed—exploring family of origin, parenting, and navigating life stages together
How do we begin?
Step 1 – Individual Sessions
Each of you books an individual session through the booking portal.
You can book all appointments through one partner’s name. When booking, there’s an option for notes — just include which partner the session is for.
This creates space to speak openly and helps build a clear understanding from both sides.
Step 2 – Choose Your Approach
Decide what structure suits you both:
• Weekly or fortnightly sessions – allows time to apply what you’re learning and fits around busy schedules
• Intensive sessions – ideal if you’re wanting faster progress and momentum
Step 3 – Joint Sessions
We begin working together as a couple, using the structure you’ve chosen.
Step 4 – Ongoing Growth
From there, the focus is on helping you reconnect, communicate well, and build a relationship that works in everyday life—not just in the session room.
You’re choosing a better story. And that matters.

Book now

WILL wE JUST ARGUE WITH YOU AS THE REFEREE?

I work hard to avoid this! We are aiming to have constructive and often beautiful conversations where we “come with respect”, choose words intelligently and offer them without blaming. The listener will “turn towards” the partner and try to catch the meaning, will try to accept or validate their feeling and take on board what the other person is saying.
If feelings become overwhelming, we practise “pause and process” before saying things we later regret. We talk about co-regulating too which means conveying the sense that “if you have big feelings, I care”.
It’s my job to help and occasionally even intervene if we are “getting off track” and to gently bring the conversation back so that we get somewhere.

WILL WE DREDGE UP THE PAST?

It’s primarily a forward looking process as we move toward “being the person we want to be” at home BUT if there are resentments then we do have to try address them.
It’s CONSTRUCTIVE – we go around the roundabout “one last time” to fully put some of the old issues to bed.
I’ll support you both so that both of you feel fully heard. I’ll help you to take on board what the other person is saying – even if you don’t agree with them (that’s ok!). I’ll help you move the baggage out so that you’re much more free “from now on”.

HOW TO BOOK A COUPLES COUNSELLING APPOINTMENT?

I find the process has quicker results if I can meet with each partner separately first. This gives me a chance to get to know you and understand the situation through your eyes.

You book an 1 hour Individual appointment for yourself and for your partner on my booking portal.
You can book all appointments through one partner’s name. When booking, there’s an option for notes — just include which partner the session is for.
Book a joint Couples Counselling Appointment for 1.5 to 2 hours or Consider the Couples Intensive Session to start your journey together.

what are the advantages of doing intensive couples therapy?

Intensive (long session) Couple Therapy 4 or 5 hours

Will it be “too much?”
Overwhelming?
Will he get bored?

In the USA, therapists offer Intensives (basically just a long appointment) for couple therapy. When I heard about the idea I jumped at it because it makes so much sense to me.

Often we are “just getting somewhere” and then it’s the end of the session. Before I see the clients next, there will be another fight and then we will talk about that in the following session.

Not very productive…

In an intensive, we can de-code the last conflict and then move on to :-

Understanding and resolving conflict cycles
Practicing excellent communication
Making sure both people are “fully heard”
Establishing “a better way” that both people are excited about

We really make progress and clients tell me that they leave feeling so hopeful! It’s not about survival anymore but actually rebuilding.

Answering the questions:-

It can be a lot but it’s my job to regulate the pace and intensity so it’s not too much.
If someone is overwhelmed, we practise “getting back to good” and co-regulating.
The men enjoy these sessions! We get to the bottom of things and actually solve some problems!

I get excellent feedback about the long format. I genuinely think it’s a better way in many respects. Couples who do intensives become genuine advocates for the idea of long-form therapy appointments.

(Before your FIRST intensive – please book an individual session each with me so I can get to know you first)

Long Intensive – “School hours”. 9am till 2.30pm with a break in the middle – $900

Short intensive – 4.5h with break in the middle. – $750

What if my partner and I don't want to start couples counselling with individual appointments?

That is absolutely fine for you to come along together.
We do generally recommend attending individually as a suggestion, as it can be helpful — however, this is not compulsory. Please feel free to choose the option that feels most comfortable for you both.

How do I connect for my appointment?

If you prefer video over call then I’ll send you a secure link before we chat.

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